“WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SLICE THEIR PALM TO GET BLOOD. do you know how many nerve endings are in your hand?!?! why don’t they ever cut the back of their arm or their leg or something omfg”—
me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit (via jtoday)
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
more specifically when people talk shit about kim kardashian and her sex tape im just like ?????????????? you hate her because a man she trusted betrayed her and sold a private sex tape and exploited her ????????? what is wrong w/ you
it probably seems like i cry over stupid shit but tbh i usually end up crying because i’ve stored up all of my upset feelings from multiple things rather than express them and then the littlest thing sets me off like spilling my drink may not be that big of a deal but when i’ve stored up that many negative emotions it feels like i busted a hole in the hoover dam
i dont get asexuals. like, humans have an instinctual need to mate, right? they also need to hunt. thats why i dont get people who dont attack their own kin on the streets and rip their flesh up with bare hands either. i live in seclusion, up high there in the mountains. i dont know what is an “internet”. i assault hikers for food
according to physics, nothing ever quite touches. when you lay your hand on something, there is a microscopic amount of space between the atoms of your hand and whatever you’re touching. so no, officer, technically i’m not jacking off right now
I’m never the one who gets called first. I’m never the best friend. I’m never the one someone falls in love with. I’m never the best at school. I’m never the funniest person. I’m never the most entertaining person at parties. I’m never the one someone tells a story first.